Are you America's next top model?

"No, I'm sorry, I'm not. Are you Malaysia's next top model?"

"Emmmm... Yes, I am!"

And so the interrogation from the teenage girls continued.

That was Saturday night and and we were staying with a family in a small village of Orang Sungei, "People of the River", who of course, as well as boats, also had dodgy satellite dishes. Electricity was for two hours a day though in certain buildings. Our main guides were some local kids with ridiculously good English who put on a show for us that night.

The "traditional" dance, was only as old as Malaysian state and I assumed it would be some type of plastic tourist show, so I was pleasantly surprised to see the boys and their friends in front of us on the jetty making mistakes, forgetting their steps: clearly just having some fun.

We arrived at that village from further up the Kinabatangan river, after spending 4 wonderful days at Uncle Tans jungle camp. Resort it is not, but I found the presence of a mat on a raised wooden surface, a mosquito net, and something resembling a Chinese prison cell as accommodation, to be far more luxurious that what I had prepared myself for. And the cacophony at night to be very soothing.

That place is wonderful. The local lads who work as guides all have some mild levels of insanity, with an infectious enthusiasm. They organise treks through the jungle at night and during the day, and rides of dinky boats up and down the river in the morning, afternoon, and after dark, where all the cool kids in the wildlife world hang out. Erin and I were lucky every time we went out and the amount of wildlife we saw was almost overwhelming.
Orang Utangs: We saw them up close at the Sepilok Rehabilitation Centre (they do good work, the centre that is...) but, of course, seeing a Mother and juvenile eating in the trees right above your head is a different story. Probiscus Monkeys, Long Tailed Macaques invading the camp at all hours trying to steal...everything! Horn-Bills, Kingfishers aaaaannnndddd CROCS! Yeah! They really do look a hell of a lot like logs...

Before heading back to the city, we stoppped off at the Gumantang Caves, and saw where the Bird's nests are harvested (now controlled with quotas) for Bird's Nest soup. Apparently the nest is made from some kind of scum that lies on the surface of the river. It's supposed to taste very good. I'll have to let you know later...

Important information I learned in the Malaysian Rain forest:

The most expensive coffee beans in the world are those that are first eaten by the nocturnal, and very rare, Civet cat, shat out, and THEN collected by the Coffee bean.....farmers...

Adult Male Orang-Utangs look very happy when they are peeing from trees onto unsuspecting trekkers and have ENORMOUS bladders. Mountains of Guano smell like... spores... Best not to breathe too deeply.

Tarantulas eat their young if they can't get a bird.

Long tailed Macaques are loveable BASTARDS who will one day figure out how to take a photo with the digital cameras they steal before they smash them on the ground. Some also have an unfortunate coke habit

Irish people are everywhere: I met two people from DCU who knew Ailbhe, Ross, Bernard, etc. etc. Bloody hell.

Oh, and I had great fun surprising Casey. We'd talked about our travel plans before leaving Japan, and realising how similar they were assumed that we'd just bump into each other in Laos or somewhere along the line. There she was walking towards me through the forest, and as she passed,

"Hi Casey"

"OH MY GOD!"

Yeah, I wonder who else is arsing around this corner of the world.

Click here to see the rest of the pictures, mine and Erin's.

On more serious note. The trip down the river was also a great eye opener into the destruction caused by Palm Oil. It was horrible. From any elevated position on Borneo, for as far as the eye can see, Palm Oil plantations have replaced the rainforest. I spent a lot of my time with the locals asking them about their thoughts on the plantations. The opinions were universal. Corporations are granted concessions to transform Virgin rainforest into plantations. Local people do not benefit economically from the plantations, and in fact their livelihoods suffer as fish stocks are depleted as general river health worsens, and much valued revenue from Eco-tourism fades. And the effect it has on other wildlife is even worse. Orang Utangs WILL be extinct in the wild within two decades at most because of the use of Palm Oil products to wash hands, instead of soup. The Rhino will be extinct in even less time as all attempts to breed them in captivity have failed. The list goes on and on, and is even worse in Indonesian Borneo. Google Earth it.

Palm Oil is not a sustainable biofuel, and will not help in cutting CO2 emmissions. Promoting the vast destruction of rainforest, and with it destruction of habitat, will only decrease biodiversity, increase CO2 levels over all, and destroy possibilities for sustainable economic growth in these developing countries. Like many other things, deciding whether to promote this or not begins at the Supermarket.